what doesn't kill you
by Emily-Sky
Summary: Stefan promised Elena to get her life normal again.But what happens if he doesn't return from battle? Will Elena get over the pain and her guilt and find love in the other Salvatore brother? A little StefanxElena and A lot of DamonxElena Rated M for later
1. Chapter 1: Airplanes

**How do you cope with losing your lover, they say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. BULLSHIT...it makes you a shitload weaker!**

The wind blew softly through Elena's long brown hair away from her face, cold wind caressed her cheeks making them blush pink. She shivered in her bedsheet. The view at the boarding house balcony was extraordinary. The afterglow of love-making still glowed on her. It was a clear night all the stars were perfectly visible. A warmth wrapped it's way around her. Strong muscular arms that cradled her into a strong chest with no heartbeat.

''What are you doing outside love?'' Stefan asked her light as a whisper into her ear.

Her creamy skin goosbumped under the sound of his voice and the coolness of his breath against it.

''Enjoying the calm before the storm'' Elena awnsered leaning against his chest.

Her mind was occupied with problems and conflict that needed to be dealt with. How Katherine tried to break them apart. How they had to hide their relationship from the world so the people she loved wouldn't be hurt. How katherine had gotten to Caroline who now was a vampire. How even though she was so infuriated and mad at Damon for what he did to Jeremy, part of her missed the friendship and her heart broke everytime she saw his face when Katherine's name was mentioned. How she could never ever tell Stefan that last worry because he'd see it as Elena developing feelings for Damon. Sometimes she wondered of their relationship was worth all this trouble. True enough the good times were wonderful, but lately also few in numbers.

"It'll be alright we'll figure it out, you and I are destined to be together you'll see" Stefan smiled.

"Destiny is cruel Stefan, it took my parents away from me, it brought Katherine to you and Damon, it kills people, destroys lives, and hurts everything along it's path, it does not bring to people together''

Elena worked herself up in her rant. She hated beeing on the sideline of yet another fight. Being to weak and powerless to do anything about the situation she had caused...or at least her 150 year or older twin did.

"tsk tsk love, so synical, you almost sound like-''

"DO NOT! mention his name right now that is the last thing I am in the mood for!'' Elena interupted him.

She didn't want to talk about Damon. Mostly because ever since Isobel told her he was in love with her and he kissed her (or rather Katherine posing as her) She tried to search for reasons to be mad at him. To keep him at a certain distance, even though she loved Stefan with all her heart , she didn't trust herself around Damon.

Stefan kissed her softly on the cheeck. And took her hand "Come to bed love"

"I cant sleep, I'm to worked up" Elena sighed.

"Tell you what " Stefan smirked " Look up to the stars, if you could make one wish right now, what would it be? anything your heart desires, wish for it, and i'll give it to you''

''I'd wish for that bitch of an ex of yours to drop dead'' Elena awnsered bitter. She tried not to laugh after she heard herself say that, it was to horrible to say even for her, and even about Katherine.

"No you wouldn't you are not like that'' Stefan whispered

"Then what am I Stefan Salvatore?" Elena whispered turning around so they were face to face.

Stefan kissed her forehead softly "You are kind'' he whispered. Then he kissed the tip of her nose ''And warm'' he worked his way to her cheeck just below her ear '' Gentle''

Elena moaned as she pressed herself harder against him directing his lips back to her in a passionate kiss. His kisses were gentle and loving, soft and carefull. She pressed her lips harder against his and dropped the pale pink bedsheet she was wearing to the balcony floor. Her hands fiddeled with the blue cotton shirt he was wearing when he stopped her.

"Not now love, even though you won't admit it , you are tired and need to rest'' he said softly.

Elena rolled her eyes. ''Stefan I love you for beeing so considerate, but sometimes i want you to cut the gentleman crap and fuck my brains out.'' She moaned close against his face.

Stefan smiled and took a step back. ''That is no talk for a lady Elena'' he said.

"Wel contrary to popular belief stefan I'm not always a lady, or a perfect little princess'' She said annoyed.

"You look pretty perfect to me'' Stefan laughed. ''Now seriously you never awnsered my question, what would you wish for?"

Elena took a moment to think about her wish. To REALLY think about it. but in the end she already knew what she wanted. '' I'd wish for normal again'' She whispered looking at the sky.

Nota: Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my little experiment! Be sure to comment and review so I know what you think and what might need to be improved!

I base every chapter on a song or a sentence out of a song, obviously this was Airplaned by B.O.B. and Hayley Williams! Know any songs I should listen too? don't be afraid to let me know the title!

Oh and a quick big shout out to my wondefull Beta-reader. twilight-obsessedYEPTWILIGHT for doing an awsome job with helping me out ^^thanks loads!


	2. Chapter 2: Miss Misery

**Chapter 2: Miss Misery**

Damon took another sip of his bourbon glass. The bar he was in was dark, a place not for the faint hearted. A place where you didn't talk to people, and where people didn't talk to you. His head hurt. How could vampires have headache's? Then again with all the drama of late, everybody human or inhuman would have a headache. He had put off feeding too long again, and the bottled up stuff back home just wasn't going to cut it. Not with the day he had. Elena was still upset with him, and even though he didn't show it, this bothered him. It used to be so easy to talk to her, to be himself. She accepted what he was. And after a 150 years of being strong, sometimes he needed to vent. He thought about her and Stefan, who were obviously "venting" on each other earlier and this caused him to leave the boarding house. He couldn't get the image out of his head. And partially he wished for Stefan's life. He could see himself holding Elena in his arms, stroking her hair, planting a kiss on her forehead, taking in her sweet scent. He was in love with her. Wasn't he? Or was she a replacement for Katherine , a better version of her? With the same beautiful features but kinder, warmer. Had he really been in love with Katherine? Or was it the idea of her, the idea of who he thought she was? Katherine...The name still made his heart cringe. It was only when his heart was broken, torn out of his body and smeared all over the walls of the tomb she was supposed to be in, he realized he had one.

The bartender snapped Damon out of his thoughts. "You want another drink love?" She asked him with a wide smile.

Damon turned his head to the early 40 year old barmaid. She had red hair that came about her shoulders and sparkling blue eyes. The men in the bar seemed to often ogle at her. She was petite and good-looking considering her age. Her breasts obviously had been done by a pro. No woman that small could have such a large cup size and keep it horizontal.

" No thank you...Jennifer" Damon said reading her name off the little tag on her shirt. "I'm going to head out" he came closer to her ear. "But I'll definitely be back" he smirked.

Damon could feel the woman's breath stopping and hear her heart pounding. This was to easy.

He grabbed a couple of dollars out of his tight black jeans and threw a couple of dollars on the counter.

Jennifer gave him another flirty smile "No need for that darling, your bill is payed for" She smiled.

Damon gave the woman a puzzled look. "What do you mean?" He asked her.

The woman pointed to a figure in the dark. Damon couldn't quite make it out but it disappeared into the back entrance. He grabbed his leather jacket from the seat next to him and went after it, leaving the money on the counter anyways.

Outside the air was cold. It was nearly winter and it showed. It was dark around him. His vampire eyes scanned the open space, he could've sworn he followed the mysterious shadow out here. "Hello?" He asked the nothingness.

A cold wind came over him again. But not a normal wind from cold weather. It was a wind of somebody passing with great speed. Damon turned around abruptly. "Who's out there?'' Damon asked again into the abyss. The air around him felt thicker. More tense. A scent came to him. A scent he recognized, he'd remember it for eternity. He turned around to face the person matching the scent.

"Hello Katherine''

Katherine giggled her child-like laugh. "Hello Damon, still the same drink, after all those decades."

"Still the same bitch after all those decades" Damon fired back with a forced smile. Hate flooded him, there definitely was a fine line between hate and love.

"The bartender woman seemed to have a thing for you?" Katherine said ignoring Damon's comment.

Damon smirked looking into Katherine's eyes. She was wearing a cat suit in all black. Her curly hair fell all the way to her back. And she smiled, almost genuine.

"Jealous?" He asked her.

"Hardly" Katherine said casually. She walked closer to Damon .

"What do you want this time Katherine?" Damon spit out.

" I need your help" Katherine whispered letting her icy blue eyes pierce through him.

**- Mystic Falls 1864**** -****  
**

"I need your help" The pale beauty whispered to him.

"You can ask me anything you want Miss Katherine" Damon smiled.

Katherine laughed. It was a high pitched giggle sound. Damon's heart made a jump. She was so beautiful. Her brown curls were softly put up with an amazing silver butterfly hair pin. It had a few green emeralds in it to compliment the green in her gown. It had a turtleneck and was tight fitted around her torso. It was a daring dress. Surely there were dresses these days that showed a bit more skin. But this one nearly revealed all without showing a thing.

"Anything will come later Mr. Salvatore, right now could you just the book on that top shelve for me? I can't quite reach it" She asked sweetly.

Her innocence was endearing. One day Damon would take her away from this place and show her the world. Marry her and eventually start a family. They'd grow old together and spoil their grandchildren.

Damon reached up the shelve to give her the book she pointed out. It was his father's copy of Hamlet by William Shakespeare. Damon passed it to her. "Reading Hamlet miss Katherine?" He wondered out loud.

"I have more than once" Katherine confessed sitting down on the chair next to her. ''It intrigues me how Hamlet does not know whether he is doing the right thing, or being lured into the dark. After all we seem to all have a darker side in us"

"I find it absolutely impossible to believe that you have a dark side Miss Katherine, I refuse to believe that'' Damon smiled.

"I'm guessing you're not a fan of Shakespeare then." Katherine asked.

"Doubt thou the stars are fire,  
Doubt the sun doth move,  
Doubt truth to be a liar  
but never doubt thy love." Damon Whispered.

"I'm impressed" Katherine said standing up again putting her book on the small table. She walked up towards Damon standing but an inch from him. "I can't help but wonder, do you love me?"

Damon took a moment to swallow as his angelic beauty stood in front of him. He took a breath taking in her enchanted scent. " I do care for you deeply Miss Katherine, but so does my brother it seems and-"

Katherine put a finger on Damon's lips silencing him in an instant. "Be still now...those are all worries for later" She whispered planting a kiss on his lips.

**Mystic Falls 2010 **

Damon drove fast in his car. The memory couldn't be pushed out of his head. Every time Katherine had asked him to help it had turned out for the worst. For him and everybody around him. He had just been to blinded by love to see it. When he drove up to the boarding house the lights were dimmed. Mr. feelgood and Elena must have already gone to bed. Too bad , they needed to wake up. NOW. He parked his car in front of the house with screeching tires. He took his key's out of the ignition and stepped out of his car.

It only took him a second to walk into Stefan's room and turn on the light. One of the perks of being a inhumanly fast vampire.

Elena rose up from the bed shocked, the light hurt her eyes who were already used to the darkness of nightfall. ''Damon what are you doing, don't you knock?" She said in a sleepy voice.  
She pulled the bedsheet over her so he wouldn't see she was practically naked.

"Damon get out" Stefan moaned pulling his head up too look at him.

"I just ran into Katherine" Damon said emotionless. "We need to talk.."

**Note:**' Hey guys, hope you enjoyed reading chapter two as much as I did writing it ^^ I promised you Damon and I hope I didn't disappoint.

This chapter was based on the song, Miss Misery by Elliott , I'm guessing you all know why.

I want to give a couple of shout outs , first of all again to my wonderful beta-reader : Twilight-obsessedYEPTWILIGHT for putting up with my stalkiness in pm world

Second of all to my wonderful muse Aurore who is telling me to get off the computer RIGHT NOW

And third to my best friend in the whole wide world Danni…for constantly giving her opinion, and putting up with my Damon rants while she is Team Stefan.

Comment and let me know what you think!  
And if you have any songs you think I should listen too , put it in the comment section or PM me ^^

Lots of love,  
Em.


	3. Chapter 3: Neutron Star Collision

Chapter 3: Neutron Star Colition

The discussion got to a boiling point. "No Elena, you are not comming and that's the end of it, it's simply to dangerous" Stefan said in a stern voice.

"You guys cant keep fighting my battles for me, sooner or later Katherine and I are gonna have a confrontation and I just want to get it over with." Elena Protested

" Will you get it into your stubborn little head that it takes Katherine a second to snap your little neck." Damon responded.

"I"ll wear Jeremy's ring" Elena argued.

"And get your fingers cut off like Daddy uncle John" Damon Said.

"Damon..." Stefan warned trying to push the uncomfortable memory of John Gilbert.

"Besides, what or who is going to protect Jeremy when you have his ring!' Damon playing her weak spot.

Now he had her cornered. She couldn't ask Jeremy to give his protection up for her benefit and it was clear the boys weren't going to let her come along.

"Caroline is staying with you here and Bonnie will watch over Jenna and Jeremy with Alaric." Stefan explained.

" I just have one question" Bonnie said sitting across from Stefan and Damon at the fireplace.

"Hurry" Damon said getting ready to leave.

"Why should we trust your word that Katherine is coming after us." She Asked.

**-Flash back-**

"I need your help" Katherine said.

"And why the hell would I help you" Damon asked her.

Katherine took a moment to circle around Damon, like a hunter would circle her prey. It was hard trying to keep cool. She was still very impressive.

"Because, I can help you get what you want" Katherine whispered.

"Other then you getting staked through that black spot you call a heart, what would i possibly want that you can give me Katherine" Damon asked her politly. It was quiet for a moment.

"Elena" Katherine smiled.

**End flashback - **

"Ok so let's review the plan again" Damon suggested to Stefan.

"Simple, go in, stake Katherine, get out, get on with our lives." Stefan replied.

"Except that it isn't that easy genius, with Katherine, you have to be prepared for plan B...and C...and all the other freaking letters of the alphabet." Damon said.

The cold wind made the situation extra eerie. Stefan didn't feel quite right about it. Something was off. Why would Katherine contact Damon to talk. Why not come straight to him. It was just unlike her. Why did he wanted to come? And why leave Elena with Caroline at the boardinghouse? If she just went home she could stay with Bonnie and the rest.

They drove up to the woods where Katherine waited to meet them. It was dark out side. What very little moonlight that shone upon mystic falls on this cloudy winter day, was blocked by the amount of trees. At this point they had to go by foot. The car just simply couldn't pass a forest this thick.

"Damon I don't feel right about this..''Stefan worried.

"Stefan, trust me...for once in your life trust me."Damon said looking out for Katherine.

Stefan stayed remarkebly quiet. Did he trust Damon? he'd given him enough reason to so so, and even more to not do so. In situations like this he usually did the right thing.

"Hey, focus!" Damon said snapping his fingers in front of his face "I got your back ok, but you have to do EXACTLY what I say"

- Flashback -

" You're crazy" Damon defended himself.

"Oh really Damon? I know you, look at yourself...you are so insanely in love with her."

" I have no idea what you're talking about" Damon said.

"She loves you too you know" Katherine whispered.

"Do you smell something?" Damon asked her suddenly.

"Erhm...No?" Katherine replied confused

"Oh it must just be you being full of shit, I'm out of here" Damon said making a way to his car.

"I can prove it!" Katherine shouted.

This stopped Damon from moving. He realised it was going to be pointless, at the end of this he wanted to know what she was going to say.

"Really? how's that" Damon asked her doubtful.

"I want Stefan back, you want Elena, work with me, and we'll both get what we want" Katherine explained.

"Start talking" Damon gave in.

-End flashback -

Stefan didn't even sense her comming. She was so fast. A wind, a blow and before he knew it a brute force crashed him into a tree. "Get up" Damon ordered picking him up from the ground again. He suddenly seemed so different, harsh, cold.

"Hello boys" Katherine said.

"You made a mistake in comming here Katherine." Stefan whispered.

"How's that love'' Katherine smiled.

"Don't call me that, i'm not nor will I ever be again, your love Katherine, you should leave now" Stefan replied.

"Or what Stefan?" Katherine asked him.

"I"ll kill you" He replied coldly.

Katherine laughed."You're not a killer Stefan, and even if you were, you and what army"

"Damon and I" Stefan said.

"And you are sure Damon is on your side?" Katherine asked.

Stefan gave her a confused look. What was she talking about? The air suddenly felt more tense. Then suddenly Damon walked over to Katherine. Suddenly the cards had changed. There he was, alone up against two vampires stronger then him. Alone and outnumbered.

"Damon what the hell is going on" Stefan shouted.

Damon looked slightly embarassed. It was uncharacteristic for him to feel that way. Something wasn't right. "She made me an offer I couldn't refuse, she gets you..."

It was akwardly silent.

"And?" Stefan pushed the subject "What do you get"

"Elena" Katherine replied

"You sick bastard" Stefan shouted, he wanted to charge Damon but Katherine stopped him.

"Hush my darling , you'll hurt yourself" She whispered. She held Stefan in a grip. Her skin still felt warm and soft against his.

"Let go of me" Stefan shouted.

"I really don't want to hurt you Stefan, but I will, all you need to do is come with me quietly" Katherine almost moaned into his ear.

"Damon how could you! You promised we'd fight her together! How can you turn your back on me...i'm your brother' Stefan tried to convince his brother.

But deep down he knew all hope was lost. The cold shiver of nearing death was upon handed Damon a wooden stake. It was crafted to perfection the way only a skilled person could.

"You do it Damon, I can't bare to ...but he needs to be unconsious if I want to take him" She whispered. Katherine diverted her eyes still holding stefan in her locked grip.

Damon took his place in front of Stefan, his eyes were cold and emotionless. Like a true killer. For a moment he seemed to hesitate. Stefan took a deep breath and closed his eyes,he did not want to give his brother the pleasure of looking into his eyes while driving the stake to his heart. His only comfort was that Elena would never settle for Damon and with him gone her life now will be normal again. He felt the wind of an object moving . He counted in his head. one...two...three... a scream came from the open spot in the woods where the 3 vampires were standing. But It was not Stefan's scream. When Stefan opened his eyes again to wonder why he wasn't in excrutiating pain he saw the stake had missed him by a hairslength and was now carefully pushed into katherine's elegant shoulder .Forcing her to loosen her grip on him. Stefan used this to his advantage to free himself from her grip. Not a moment later Damon jumped on katherine placing the stake inches from her heart.

"Damon what's happening" Stefan asked.

"I told you I got your back Stefan, I just had to make her think I was on her side. It was the only way we'd have a shot" Damon said choking Katherine with his hand around her neck.

"You turned on me" Katherine stumbled breathlessly.

" You do not mess with the people I care about Katherine, you should've known I wouldn't let that happen" Damon smirked he raised the stake to push it trough her heart with force.

"I know you wouldn't Damon, I know you'd betray me" Katherine laughed.

"Then why trust me?" Damon wondered.

"Because I always have a plan B Damon, you know that" her laugh became more evil. "NOW!" She shouted.

There came another muffled scream from the woods. A scream both Salvatores knew to well.

"Elena!" Damon shouted.

Elena was carried in by two big strong male figures. They were shirtless and heavy breathing. One was holding another figure, they threw the body in front of them. The golden blond hair masked a face that didn't need to be shown. Caroline.

"Are you alright?" Stefan shouted to Elena, he wanted to rush to her side but with every step he took the figures held elena thighter almost snapping her neck.

"Tell them to let her go!" Damon said slamming Katherine's head into the ground.

"Get off me and I will" Katherine said.

Damon let go of Katherine and took a few steps back. There was nothing he could do now. "Elena are you ok?" Damon glanced at her.

Elena was shaking in cold and fear. Soundless tears were running down her cheeks. But she nodded.

"And Caroline?" He continued, looking back at Katherine.

"Unconsious with vervain, it was to easy to spike her food" Katherine laughed.

"What do you want Katherine, anything, just let Elena go" Stefan pleaded. He was beyond desperate to get her in safety.

Katherine got up from the ground. She sped her way over to Stefan holding him into her lock again. Stefan could've fought her off. But he couldn't take the risk as to what would happen to Elena if he did.

The half naked creatures chuckled ignorantly. "Can we kill the girl now Miss Katherine?" one said in an eerily low voice.

"No, only one of our two love birds will die tonight" Katherine awnsered sweetly. " And here's the beauty of my little plan...you get to pick who ...Damon." She giggled.

"No...no...no!" Elena screamed trying to get free, but it was no use, the men were unbelievably strong. Her pleadings were close to begging. Something Damon found was incredibly beneath her.

"How can you be so heartless" Damon accused her.

"Simple, I always get my way...now pick or they both die." She said.

"What makes you think I cant run over there and break those no brain muscle toys necks before they get a chance of touching Elena" Damon said trying to buy time...

"Oh that's simple Damon, in a few minutes the full moon will be completly risen, and they will transform in pretty little werewolves obeying my every wish" Katherine explained.

Damons mind was racing at a million thoughts a second. There had to be a way to safe them both, but what if he had to pick? Who would he choose? In his heart he already knew who to pick...but could he live with the concequences...

"Come on Damon I do have other plans tonight" Katherine said annoyed.

Damon saw that he was cornered.

"Damon! Don't be stupid...save Elena'' Stefan shouted.

"I can't...i'm sorry Elena...I have to save Stefan" Damon whispered. " He's my brother".

"So be it..."Katherine whispered. "Kill the girl"

Note: Hello all my sweet little darlings!

I'm soooooo sorry for the delay in this chapter, but with work, theater, school, my household and shirtless guitarists around i had the hardest time writing this chapter. On top of that i was feeling very uninspired lately...I hope you can all forgive me!

This chapter is inspired by Neutron Star Collision by Muse. Yes i know this is the Eclipse soundtrack...I cant help what I get inspired from xD

A couple of shout outs!

First of all as always my lovely Beta-Reader twilightobsessed-YESTWILIGHT for her infinite wisdom. Without you this would still be a thought in my head.

My muse and roommate Aurore for making me dinner when i come home late, helping me out when i have writers block, and listening to me b*tch...over and over...

And third too my best friend Danni someday i'm gonna do something really crazy and sweet to pay you back for all the times you helped me out...

and last but not least! to you! the readers. Your subscriptions and reviews keep me motivated! thanks for that!

Oh and Next chapter will finally have some Delena! I promise!


	4. Chapter 4 : Music can't save me now

The mood in the boarding house was cold and harsh. Damon was looking at the fire trying to grasp the loss he suffered tonight. After all his plotting and scheming, how could his plan have failed this gravely. His promise to protect had turned out to be an empty one.

Caroline was sitting next to Damon, her sobs were loud and annoying.

"Shut up Caroline"Damon scolded.

"How can you be so heartless! Somebody we all cared about DIED tonight...and quite frankly it's your fault to start with" Caroline screamed.

Damon rushed up from his seat grabbing Caroline's neck,choking her and slamming her against the wall " DONT YOU THINK I KNOW THAT! I DO NOT NEED YOU THROWING IT IN MY FACE" His face was cold yet painful, if you looked into his green eyes closely, you could almost see tears welling up.

Bonnie came down the stairs. '' Will you two keep it down? She's finally asleep" She whispered more calm the anyone in the house was.

Damon let go of Caroline instantly. "How is she?"

"Are you seriously asking me that Damon?"Bonnie asked him.

"You're right...Sorry" Damon said.

"I"m gonna call Jenna" Bonnie whispered.

"Why" Caroline wondered.

"Because I'm going to tell her Elena is sleeping at my place" She whispered.

"Tell Jenna that Stefan broke up with her and left town" Damon muttered.

"How can you disgrace your brother like that! After he died for you!" Caroline screamed again.

" What else is Bonnie gonna say Caroline? That stefan was killed by two werewolves working on the behalf of his vampire ex? But it's ok cause Elena is staying the night at his vampire brothers house." Damon said sarcastically.

Caroline went silent showing that she saw his point.

"I'll try and give a swing to it" Bonnie whispered. She didn't like the idea of portraying Stefan as the bad guy, hours after his death . But what other choice did she have. His disappearance would be noticed. And people would start asking questions. Questions that would need awnsers. Awnsers that could only be given if they told people right now he left town. She had no choice. She had to take comfort in the fact that where ever Stefan was now, he would understand that this was for the best. She just hoped Elena now struck with grief would see it that way too. Always the calm one she dialed the numbers to Elena's home reaching Jenna on the other end of the phone.

"Hello?"

Damon went upstairs to check on Elena. He could see the pillow she was lying on was wet. She had cried herself to sleep. Softly he stroked the hair out of her face trying not to disturb her peaceful sleep.

Even when she was obviously a mess, she still looked beautiful, even after a night she had there was still a streak of grace and elegance upon her.

Flashback -

"Kill the girl" Katherine said.

"WAIT!" Damon shouted. " Release Stefan first..."

"Fine" Katherine Whispered. Letting Stefan get out of her grip.

Stefan tried to rush to Elena but Damon stopped him...he gave him a look.

'No!" Damon said in a stern voice.

"Well, Kill her!" Katherine said again when Damon Stefan had reached Damon.

Damon gave Stefan a look "NOW!" he shouted.

Both boys ran for the big men, they had just a few seconds before the full moon had risen. Damon charged the one on the left and Stefan the one on the right. "RUN!" Damon shouted to Elena.

Katherine was next to move in Elena's direction. She had almost reached her when Stefan grabbed her from the back. Throwing her into a tree. Her hand was pierced with wood and she screamed a painful cry. Stefan quickly staked her other hand. Making her unable to free herself from the tree she was now convided too.

Damon was on the other side of the clearing. He was rolling around with the guy over leaves dirt and small branches poking him in the back. Damon made a haul for the mans neck but he was fast. It was time to play dirty If they were going to come out of this, he would need to fight dirty.

First he delivered a kick in the guy's groin. Making him squirm.

"Guess big guys have big nuts" Damon smirked. And with one quick move he wrapped his hands around the guys neck and twisted it. Broken neck and instant death followed. He hurried back to the other wolfman who was making his way for a screaming Elena. Throwing him off her.

"Stefan let's go!" Damon Shouted.

Then the light of the moon hit them. A howl sounded from the woods. The big guy started to scream in pain, his flesh tearing from his body and giving room for a thick furry coat. The transformation had begun, all they could do now was pulled Elena towards Caroline and shook the blond girl. "Come on!"

Caroline woke up confused "Whats going on?"

"Werewolf attack! we need to go...NOW! Take Elena" Damon ordered.

"Stefan!" Elena shouted

"Don't worry I'll go get him"Damon said trying to comfort her."But you two need to go to the car"

"I"m not leaving without him!" Elena screamed.

"Elena's for fucks sake don't be the human hero ok, if you stay you'll be killed' Damon said annoyed.

The wolf was now fully transformed and headed to Stefan who was slowly killing a screaming Katherine, so intense he didn't even see the animal comming.

The wolf made a jump for Stefan showing his teeth.

"STEFAN!"Elena screamed again.

Stefan glanced behind him seeing only the wolf and it's teeth ready to sink into him.

Damon tried to get in between them but it was to late, the wolf was already carrying Stefan in it's big sharp mouth.

"Caroline! Take Elena out of here!' Damon Shouted.

He charged for the wolf trying to let him let go of Stefan, but his body was already lifeless on the ground.

With a quick elegant move Damon tried to go for the wolves heart but the wolf was faster, and stronger. It's paw scratchd Damon over his shoulder, arm and chest. He realised he couldn't win this. Stefan was dead and if he stayed much longer so would he be.

He could hear Katherine's sobs over stefan's dead body. There was no way to bring the body with him. All he could do was run and get the girls to safety. And so he made a run for it.

"We have to go! NOW" He said pulling Caroline and Elena with him into the woods.

"No! no STEFAN!" Elena screamed.

"He's dead we have to leave him! there's no use in us getting killed to!" Damon shouted making his way too the car. Throwing both girls in and raced back to the boarding house.

-End Flashback-

It was early morning when Damon awoke from the first say of sunshines in his face. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed Elena had slept in. Was still sleeping in. The memory of what happened must have finally wore him down. He looked at Elena again, she was stirring quite alot in her sleep. Breathing some panicky words and names. Nightmares...he wasn't suprised. After what she saw the last year since he had met her, it kept on suprising him she wasn't driven to a mental hospital. She started to squirm around more in her sleep violently hitting the pillows. It was cruel to let this go on. He thought about the different ways to wake her up. But when she was finally near screaming blood and murder in her sleep he simply put his hands around her shoulders and shook her lightly.

"Elena...Elena wake up ok, it's just a dream" He whispered.

Elena softly opened her eyes. The light was to bright, her eyes were burning. ''It's just a dream" Damon's voice has whispered. In a moment of shear hope that it all was a dream, she looked at the other side of the bed. The side where Stefan was supposed to be lying looking all worried. But the sheets were smooth and untouched, nobody had spent last night on that side of the this realisation the tears came again, along with soft breakable sobs.

The only thing Damon could do was close her in his arms. Hug her tightly so that for a moment she would feel like she was in the safest place in the world. Truly he vowed to himself, she would never be safer then she was there. He would protect her with his very life, and this time he'd die for sure before seeing her hurt again. This was just to painful, every sob cut right through one of his icy exteriors and into his heart.

"We...Lost him...Damon" Elena cried interupted with sobs.

"I know Elena,"Damon tried to sooth her and softly kissing her hair on the top of her head. "I"m sorry."

Elena looked up at him with watery eyes. "It"s not your fault" she said.

"Except that it is..."Damon confessed.

Elena took a step away, freeing herself from his arms. She dried her tears for an instant with the sleeve. "What do you mean" she asked cautiously.

"Does it matter?" Damon asked. He really didn't want to hurt her again by explaining himself.

"." Elena said more infuriated, she found it was easier to be mad then sad right now.

"I just thought that, if I gave everyone the idea I was working with Katherine in stead of against her, I would have had a better shot at catching her off guard."Damon explained silently.

"So in his last moments, he felt all alone in the world, like his own brother had betrayed him once again" Elena said taking another step backwards.

"No! It wasn't like that!" Damon tried to reason.

"You're right Damon Salvatore! this IS your fault! If he knew you were on his side he just might haven't pulled a move like that too charge and he would still be alive!" Elena said suddenly feeling emotionless.

Caroline and Bonnie stormed into the room. The yelling had attracted attention, but all they could do was sit and watch in silence.

"Elena please, It wasn't like that" Damon raised his voice.

"BUT IT WAS!" Elena yelled. "You might not have delivered the killer blow Damon but you sure as hell killed him! You tortured him , made him miserable for years, trying to destroy every form of happiness in his life! You have blood on your hands Damon Salvatore, your brothers blood!" Elena screamed through her near hysteric tears.

Damon closed in on her. He couldn't bare to see her like this...his hand reached out for her.

"Don't you dare touch me!" Elena backed away further, beeing on the doorstep. "Leave me alone, If I never see you again, it will be too soon..." Elena whispered

"Elena please don't do this...you are all I have left, all I still care for, I cant lose you" Damon said in a moment of vonurable honesty.

"You"re wrong damon, I lost everything I cared for...you never had me for a second...I can honestly say now that not a bone in my body cares for you or ever will...you're a miserable dispicable bastard who is and will always be alone in this world, and I hate you"

and with those words, she left the room, leaving Damon almost emotionally it didn't show from his face, his heart was broken. Finally...he let her go...It seemed, that this would be the end for them. After all, she had no reason to stay, when Stefan was gone.

Hey my sweets,

Thanks again for staying with me during my absence and I hope this chapter makes up for it a bit :) I am fully writing again but personal life has been a bit busy lately with things I will not bother you all xD.

For this chapter i was not inspired by ANY song, it just came in my head, so no lyric title right now...but if you have songs i should listen too...let me know in the comments or pm's

A couple of shout outs...

First and always to my wonderfull beta-reader twilightobsessed-YESTWILIGHT for her wonderfull guidance and accurate job. Without you I would not be on here 3

Second to my muse Aurore, for being very patient with me these days...it's greatly appreciated.

and third...to you guys for sticking with me...thank you for that!


	5. Chapter 5: Need you now

Chapter 5; Need you now

The scent of blood was in the air. Like sweet lavender mixed with cinnamon and vanilla. Around the room were scattered bottles of alcohol and broken glasses. Caroline found it hard to clean with the scent around her. She hadn't broken her diet yet. It had been hard but she had shown herself strong. And she knew in a way Damon needed her. In the months that had passed since Stefan had died and Elena had left. He had turned the famous switch off on his emotions. But somebody needed to look after him, after all had left. At first she had a hard time convincing him to stay at Mystic Falls. But when she threw the Katherine-can-still-come-after-Elena-and-I'll-be-the-only-vampire-to-protect-her card. She knew deep down he couldn't leave.

It had been hard on him. In those first few weeks, he hardly talked to her, sleeping during the day, and only coming out at night to hunt drunken schoolgirls. He had seemed to be doing better lately. But the mess she found this afternoon when she dropped by after school, gave away a relapse. She picked up the broken pieces of glass and put them in the garbage. After that she made a way up too his room. He was going to get yelled at.

She stormed in without knocking opening the curtains, there was nothing in this room she hadn't seen before in the last months or back when she was Damon's pet. The thought made her shiver. Still she could not help but care and feel a little for him. After all she knew how it felt to give up the one person you loved.

The light shone brightly in the dark room waking up it's habitants.

"Get up!" Caroline said to Damon smacking him around the head.

She then made a way for the girl lying on the other side of the bed. Her body already showed the violent bite marks Damon had left. The scent was overwhelming. This one had a very sweet scent. Caroline tried not to breath.

"You...get out..." She barked pulling the girl up by her arm.

"Nooooooo...Buzzkill Betty!" Damon whined pulling the pillow over his head.

Caroline focused on the naked girl first, she looked deep into her eyes and whispered. "You are going to pick up your clothes, dress warmly so nobody see's your marks, and if every anybody finds out about them, you tell them you went to a messed up cult party two towns over, got it?" She compelled the girl

"Yes" the girl said with an hypnotic voice.

Caroline then kicked the girl out, over the last 7 months she had gotten good at covering up Damon's messes. She pulled the bed sheet off him, revealing his body. This time he was wearing boxers...thankfully. The first time she had seen him naked again after they "broke up" she had found it hard not too stare. After all, he was "gifted" that way. "Get your hung over ass out of bed right now and go shower. You smell worse then ...I don't know...whatever smells the worst in the world, you smell even fouler then that." She muttered.

"Leave me alone" Damon moaned pulling the sheet back up.

"You promised you'd try to do better Damon" Caroline reminded him. She pulled the blanket off again and took it with her, it had bloodstains. It needed washing. She took this moment to start the shower to let it run.

"UP!" She shouted at Damon.

"Alright alright I'm up! jeez, you were ALOT nicer when you were human. Not to mention more willing" Damon smirked.

"Don't get ideas Damon, you and I are through...and have been for ages" Caroline warned him.

Damon slowly paced for the shower. He couldn't grasp why Caroline stuck around, surely he had done everything he thought possible to drive her out. He just wanted to be left alone. So why didn't she back off. After all he did to her? How could she keep putting energy in him. The pulled down his remaining undergarment and stepped into the large shower. The hot water covered his hair and body. It was only now he realized he did in fact smell really bad.

Caroline headed back downstairs. Knocked over chairs, curtains on the floor. It looked like a battle for life and death had taken place here. Something had to be done. Damon could not go on like this. With these thoughts she started the clean up.

About half an hour later Damon walked into the room fully dressed and smelling a lot better. He still looked like crap in her opinion.

"Sorry about the mess" Damon said grabbing the bottle of bourbon. "You shouldn't be cleaning this up" he said.

"I want to" Caroline whispered grabbing the bottle out of his hand and putting it back on the little table that they called the bar.

"Hej I was gonna drink that" Damon complained.

"No you weren't , drink this, you need it much more" Caroline side giving him a glass of ruby liquid.

"Please tell me that isn't a badger from the garden" Damon said, inspecting the glass.

"No it's from the cooler in the basement" Caroline sighed. Getting him to feed was the hardest part of this.

Damon drank it in one gulp. "Thanks" He whispered.

"Damon...go talk to Elena" Caroline said taking a seat next to him "It's obvious all this is caused by missing her"

"Nice analysis Doctor Phillis, you forget this is normal behavior for me...i just kept goodie goodie for those two world changers" Damon said putting the glass on the ground.

Caroline sighed picking up the glass and putting it in the sink, she had JUST finished making this place look decent, at least he could pretend to try to keep it that way. "That's a load of bullshit and you know it...and for what it's worth, I really believe she misses you too."

Damon kept quiet. Part of him really wanted to just get his coat and see her. But he knew she didn't want to see him. He just wanted to see if she was ok. If she had moved on. If the people around her took care of her the way she deserved.

"I have to go Damon, I do have a life outside of cleaning your messes, I'll be back tomorrow after school. Please try to keep things alright out here." Caroline said making her way for the door. Damon stopped her.

"Thank you" He whispered looking at her.

It was for this Damon she put up with all the crap. The one that had remorse and was in pain. She wanted to help him. She knew he could get better. But she needed Elena for that, time to take action she thought.

Damon headed for the booze again. He didn't bother for a glass, the bottle would do.  
After a couple of hours, the drunken mist took over in his mind.

About an hour later, Caroline arrived at the Gilbert house. She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Readying herself for the storm she was about to to face.  
Luckily it was Jeremy who opened the door.

"Hej Jeremy, is Elena home?" Caroline asked in her sweetest voice.

"Yeah, she's in her room, can you find it or do I need to invite you in" Jeremy asked.

"No need to , I've been invited in before" Caroline explained as casual as possible.

"How is she doing today" Caroline asked.

Jeremy shrugged his shoulders "Ok I guess...today is a better day" he whispered.

Jeremy was up to date on the situation. Where Jenna had grown impatient with Elena's grief after a few months because she thought Stefan was an ass who left her. Jeremy more understood the pain his sister was going through.

Caroline made her way up to Elena's bedroom...it's funny how she had been up these stairs so many times , and now, they seemed so long. She took a left when she came upstairs and knocked on the door.

"Elena?" She asked the big white door.

"Come on in Caroline" The voice on the other end said. In the last months her voice had gotten a bit deeper, a bit more mature, like the pain and suffering that had been in her life were audible through her voice.

Caroline entered the door. Elena was sitting on her bed. Covered in white linen her knees crouched up to support her homework on which she was writing.  
"Hey, how you feeling" Caroline said taking a seat on the end of the bed. She felt bad for not being more supportive of Elena. After Stefan died she had spent so much time with Damon she sometimes forgot to be there for her friend. Most of the days she figured Elena had Jenna and Jeremy and bonnie and the rest of the world. While Damon was all alone. But that didn't mean her friend didn't need her specifically sometimes. Lord knows Elena was there for her when she broke up with Matt.

"I'm fine" Elena said in her usual response just like when her parents died, she even used the same smile.

"You sure?" Caroline asked.

"Caroline "Elena sighed. "It's sweet of you to try and listen, but honestly, you wouldn't understand, i'm not trying to be mean or saying that my pain is worse then yours, it's just different "

"I get what you mean Elena" Caroline whispered. "At least I know Matt is safe" she muttered to herself.

Elena nodded in understanding.

"You know Damon would probably understand better" Caroline tried.

"I doubt he has any emotion at all" Elena scolded.

"That's not very nice Elena, he's having a really hard time, just cause he won't admit it doesn't mean he doesn't feel bad" Caroline defended him.

"Is that what this is about? you are trying to redeem Damon?" Elena asked.

"A little...you should see him Elena, all he does is drink alcohol and blood, sleeping around not even bothering to feel anything...i'm really worried about him...and i never REALLY liked him to begin with" Caroline said.

"So all this worrying about me was fake?" Elena whispered.

"No! no I AM worried about you Elena, I just think you and Damon could help each other...after all you both lost him" Caroline tried.

Her attempts were in vain Elena had already jumped out of the bed and started shouting. "You get the hell out of my room Caroline Forbes, and don't come back until you stop mentioning his name!"

Caroline saw it had no use. She gave Elena a hurt puppy look and left the room. She had tried...that was all she could do.

Elena fought back the tears. She did what she always did in this situation. Close the drapes, put on music, dim the lights take out her journal , crawl under the bed...and write...

_**Dear Diary,**_

For months I have neglected you dear friend. Yet now when I do not know who to turn to it is you I give my trust. Over the last months since Stefan's death I have been unstable. I don't know how to place my grief. It's very different from when mom and dad died. Because in the end I could share my pain with Jeremy, or Jenna... both of them also lost them. But now...Nobody lost Stefan the way I did . Nobody...but him. Secretly I wonder about him. When I try to catch sleep. I wonder if he feels the same pain, if he thinks about me ? Does he miss me? Caroline stopped by today, she said HE missed me and that HE'S a mess. Even though I was so angry at HIM , part of me wants HIM back in my life. We used to have a bond, a special one. I'm certain that if he decided to not de a total dick he would be of help. But with Damon you are never certain. It can always go to ways. Yet I think i have to know. I think I have to swallow my pride , I'll go see him...tonight...i just hope nobody notices.

Elena.  
  
Damon poor himself another drink. He found it hard to poor into the glass, he was getting slightly drunk . It was in this state, remenicing hit him the hardest. The pressure was too much, he needed to know...this had to be over. Lightheaded but determent he took his phone and dialed the number he had wanted to dial the most over the last six months.

"Hello?" The female voice awnsered the phone.

"It's me..." Damon almost whispered.

"I noticed that when your name came on my phone screen Damon...why are you calling me" Elena said coldly.

"I wanted to know how you were doing.." Damon asked her.

It stayed quiet for a moment. Damon could hear the delicate whisper of her sigh. She snorted like she was about to start sobbing. But then she didn't.

"I'm dealing, trying to get on with my life, how about you?" She asked.

"I'm getting on with my life trying not to deal with it." Damon said with a sad laugh.

" Damon I appreciate you calling to check in...but please don't anymore..."Elena spoke.

This came like a dagger through Damon's non beating heart. Surely he had expected this much, but he had hoped otherwise. And like every hope in his life, it was now shattered.

"I understand" Damon said and without saying goodbye he hung up the phone. He took a moment to grasp the moment and what had just happened. Then realization sunk in and he threw his phone against the wall with all the force he could manage. It shattered into a million pieces over the floor. Along with everything else he could get a hold of. The glass that held his drink, the pictures on the desk. All of it had to be in as many pieces as his heart.

It was only a little while after this wave of destruction hit him the doorbell rang. It was almost a quarter after one in the night. Damon could already tell it would be the sheriff asking him why the hell there was so much noise coming from the old boarding house at this late hour. Warned by a passer by who was to nosy. He made his way to the door. Took a breath and opened it.

"Damon"  
"Elena..." Damon said in shock...

**Hello my lovelies!**

**Yes I know it's been ages! I'm so sorry, I've just been dealing with , well basically being robbed at work, getting a gun to my head, and a hell of a lot of snow! But as you can see(read?) I feel loads better!**

**So I'm sorry life got in the way xD I'll try and not let it happen again!**

**I hope you all really like this chapter, it's the one that was in my head first and set the base for the entire story. It's based on lady antabellum's need you now… so….here it is xD**

**As always a couple of shout outs**

**To my wonderful beta-reader Twilightobsessed-YESTWILIGHT for having a tremendous amount of patience with me.**

**My best friend Danni… for being understanding when I was a total b*tch!**

**And last but this time most, to my muse aurora, for dealing with my nightmares and not being mad about the bruises kicks and punches I deliver in my sleep to her3 It is appreciated and for that I'll bring you Matt wrapped in a pink bow for X-mass**

**Lots of holliday love **


	6. Chapter 6: Give me you're fear

Je zegt ik ben vrij, maar je bedoelt ik ben zo eenzaam  
Je voelt je tegek zeg jij, maar ik zit niet te dromen  
Want die blikken in je ogen zeggen alles tegen mij  
Ik voel me precies als jij, dus jij kunt eerlijk zijn  
Je voelt je heel goed zeg jij, je mond begint te trillen  
Ik weet dat ik jou kan helpen, maar je moet zelf willen  
Elkaar nu een dienst bewijzen, dat is alles wat ik vraag  
Zet weg nu die angst, ik wist het al het is mijn dag vandaag

Geef mij nu je angst, ik geef je er hoop voor terug  
Geef mij nu de nacht, ik geef je de morgen terug  
Zolang ik je niet verlies vind ik heus wel de weg met jou

Kijk mij nu eens aan, nee zeg maar niets je mag best zwijgen  
Het valt nu nog zwaar, maar ik weet dat ik jou kan krijgen  
Dit hoeft nooit meer te gebeuren, als je bij me blijft vannacht  
Want dan zal je zien, als jij straks wakker wordt dat jij weer lacht

Geef mij het gevoel, dat ik er weer bij hoor voortaan  
Ik ga met je mee, want ik laat je nu nooit meer gaan  
Geef mij nu je angst, ik geef je er hoop voor terug  
Geef mij nu de nacht, ik geef je de morgen terug  
Zolang ik je niet verlies vind ik heus wel de weg met jou

Geef mij het gevoel, dat ik er weer bij hoor voortaan  
Ik ga met je mee, nee ik laat je nu nooit meer gaan  
Geef mij nu je angst, ik geef je er hoop voor terug  
Geef mij nu de nacht, ik geef je de morgen terug  
Zolang ik je niet verlies vind ik heus wel de weg met jou 

You say I'm free, but you mean, I'm lonely  
You feel great you say, but I'm not the one reminiscing  
Cause the look in your eyes tell me a million words  
I feel the same as you, so you can talk to me  
You feel really good you say, but your lips start to tremble  
I know I can help you, but you have to want it  
Helping each other out, that's all I'm asking  
Put away that fear, I knew today would be my day

Give me your fears, I'll give you hope in return  
Give me the night, I'll give you the morning  
As long as I don't lose you, I'll find my way with you

Look at me, No don't speak, you can be silent  
It's hard now, but I know you'll be mine  
This will never happen again, if you stay with me tonight  
Cause then you will see when you wake, you'll smile again

Give me the feeling, I'm part of your life again  
I'll be by your side, no I'll never let you go  
Give me your fear, i'll give you hope in return  
Give me the night, I'll give you the morning  
As long as I don't lose you, I'll find my way with you

Give me the feeling, I'm part of your life again  
I'll be by your side, no I'll never let you go  
Give me your fear, i'll give you hope in return  
Give me the night, I'll give you the morning  
As long as I don't lose you, I'll find my way with you

-

Damon walked back into the living room with the glass of water he got from the kitchen and placed it before Elena. 

"I didn't expect you here" He whispered. 

"I didn't know I was coming, I was driving around and just sort of ended up here" Elena replied. 

"I know you hate me for asking, but I need to know…how are you ?" Damon Asked her. 

"To be honest I'm doing pretty good" Elena Lied, she turned her head away her eyes glistened and her lips trembled. 

"Liar" Damon muttered. "You're still consumed with grief" 

"That's not what I came to talk about Damon" Elena said. 

"Then why are you here?" Damon asked. 

"I shouldn't have come , I'll go" Elena said more to herself then to Damon picking up her purse. 

"I didn't say you weren't welcome!" Damon protested, stopping her. 

"I don't know why I'm here Damon….I just am" Elena's eyes watered.  
Damon slowly took reached for her hand, taking it in his. 'I'm sorry" 

"For what?" Elena asked him. 

"Everything Elena, not keeping in touch, being a dick , what happened to Stefan! It's all my fault!" Damon ranted. 

"It's not, and I'M sorry for blaming you" Elena hushed him. The tears welled up in her eyes and started dripping over her cheeks.  
All Damon could do was hold her. Hold her and hope she'd stop crying. He couldn't deal with crying women. It always hit a soft spot in him. After a couple of minutes that felt like eternity she looked up to him again.  
Damon reached for the glass of water.

" Here…have a drink" He smiled. 

"Got anything stronger?" Elena wondered. 

Damon laughed. 'Sure' He said rushing to the bar in the living room. "Bourbon ok for you?' He asked. 

'Yeah that's fine." Elena replied letting herself fall into the couch.  
Damon came back with the two glasses and the bottle giving her one. "Go easy on that it's strong" He tried to say but before he could finish his sentence Elena had poured the glass down her throat. 

"Atlanta flashback!" Damon smirked. 

Elena laughed "you forgot" 

'So I did" Damon said filling up her glass. 

"How are you doing Damon, Caroline said-"Elena started out.  
Damon shook his head." I'm dealing." He obviously didn't want to talk about it.  
Her smile was weak but still gorgeous. When he remembered her he managed to have forgotten how deep she struck him. How unbelievably beautiful she was. As Stefan pointed out so many times in the past, she was nothing like Katherine. And when you payed close attention they did not look exactly alike. Elena was much more mature, her eyes –which were a shade darker then Katherine's- had seen much more pain and suffering. The dark spots under her eyes, implied many sleepless nights. Independent as she could be, all he wanted to do was take care of her. They talked for hours about deep worries and random stuff. It was so easy, like breathing it felt normal talking to her, he had laughed with her , had been taken his breath away by pain and worry, it had been a rollercoaster of emotions he had tried not to let surface. All the while, liquor had been flowing richly. At dawn when the sun was coming up Elena finally stood up . 

"I need to leave! Get ready for school!" She giggled, she tried to keep her balance but was unsuccessful. 

"You're in no state to go to school Elena, you're drunk!" Damon noticed with a smile, even hammered she was endearing! 

"But Damon!"Elena said looking at him far too serious "Education is important, it is the foundation of the future!" she imitated some moral do-gooder. 

Damon started laughing genuinely, she was hysterical in this state, but in no way to drive or pay attention in class.

"And what will happen if you puke in class and they find out you're smashed?" Damon asked her.  
Elena gave him a fake shocked face

"You make a point Mr. Salvatore!" She said staring out in the room and dropping herself into the couch once again. 

Damon figured he would soon start rolling over the floor trying to keep himself together in laughter. "Come on kid, let's get you to bed" he laughed.

"You're taking me to your bed Damon? How naughty" Elena laughed. 

"Not like that you dimwit, to sleep it off" He explained grabbing her and pulling her up. 

"But I'm not done drinking yet!" Elena protested. 

"Yes you are" Damon decided. She tried to resist but Damon simply threw her over his shoulder carrying her to his bed like a child. 

"Ooooh, don't shake me, I feel nauseas" Elena suddenly said turning pale white. 

Damon placed her in the bed and gave her a glass of water "Drink that and don't puke in my bed kid" he laughed.  
Elena gulped from the water and placed it back on the nightstand, she fiddled with the buttons of her shirt. 

Damon took a black shirt out of his closet and put it on the bed next to her

"here, let me do that" He said when he saw her struggling. He opened the buttons, revealing her light blue bra and cream skin. 

"See! You want me!"Elena shouted moving in closer on him with her lips. Damon stopped her. 

"Elena, don't" he whispered their foreheads still connected by a light touch. 

"Damon, you take me to your bed, undress me, don't play hard to get now" She whispered letting her hands search for the buttons of his pants. 

It was hard to resist, even like this she was beyond attractive, and offering herself to him. He felt movement in his groin. 

"I'm not" he said in a business like way helping her out of her pants and shirt. He pulled the black shirt over her head, it was far too large for her. But it would keep her warm. 

"So you don't want to sleep with me" Elena asked, disappointed. 

Damon smiled at , how could she even think he was rejecting her, rejecting Elena Gilbert was harder than creating world peace. 

"Ask me again when you sober up, and I'll rock your world sweetheart" he smiled covering her up with his bed sheet. 

He wanted to move away from the bed but she pulled him back "But I want you now….." Then her face changed in a more chocked look, she threw her head next to bed, she made a barfing sound and the smell of regurgitated alcohol hit him. 

"Djeezes Elena" Damon moaned slightly annoyed. 

"At least it wasn't IN the bed" Elena noticed.

Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long again! But I promise you guys the next chapter is already finished and on it's way to my betareader and will be hopefully up before Christmas, it's going to be a Christmas special with a very special surprise ^^ This one I wrote because I wanted something a little lighter a little funnier, so I hope I cracked you guys up a couple of times!

Couple of shoutouts as always!

To my betareader Twilightobsessed-YESTWILIGHT! I hope you feel loads better soon!

To my muse Aurore for her help (I spelled it Aurore this time ! not aurora!)

And to Damon Salvatore for being so hot and easy to write about 3

Last but not least to you guys for the reviews hits and nice comments! It really does motivate me to keep writing! And if you have any songs you think I should listen too, let me know! You can always pm me! Or hell even email me^^

Lots of love,

Em.


	7. Chapter 7: The Special TwoXmas Special

It was cold out, when Caroline walked up to the boardinghouse. Snow had covered it and made it into a winterwonderland, like a movie setting everything was covered with white untouched dust. When she came inside the place wasn't messed up. She was relieved that yesterdays clean up wasn't in vain. On the table she noticed two glasses and an empty bottle of Damon's favorite bourbon. Again he had company last night. There was going to be a new naked slut in his bed. She really was getting impatient.

She was done helping him. After what happened with Elena yelling at her. She had wanted to talk to Elena this morning in school, bet Elena never showed. And when she tried calling her , Elena had refused to pick up her phone.

Caroline was going to drop by Elena's house again after seeing Damon, to ask her to come to the Christmas party at the grill with her tomorrow night, to make up for what happened. She just hoped Elena wouldn't keep ignoring her. She hated it when people did that more then anything in the world.

Caroline put the bottle back in the bar and the glasses in the sink. Quietly she made her way passed the door on the left and hoovered. She hadn't been in Stefan's room since the night of his death, it creeped her out.

On the way more to the right she stood in front of the big mahogany door and was no awnser. With a big bang she opened the door and started shouting again. "GET UP!" was all she yelled out, the person under the blankets moved, obviously a girl. But Damon wasn't around. Had he just left the girl alone in the house? that wasn't like him. He usually had the decency to erase their memories.

"Ok missy get out of the bed and don't get idea's this was nothing more then a one night stand" She said coldly pulling the sheet off of the girl. She took a long look at the brown locks that draped over the girls elegant slim body, it was only when the girl turned over so Caroline could see her face she noticed who it was "Oh my god! Elena! I'm so sorry" Caroline said shocked!

On that moment the other door in the room that lead to the private bathroom, opened. "Who's yelling?" Damon asked wrapped in nothing but a towel around the waist.

"Caroline?...Damon?...Where am I" Elena asked confused running her hand through her hair.

"In my bed" Damon grinned.

Elena took a moment the look around, her eyes widened. "Why am I in your bed? how? ...WHY AM I PRACTICALLY NAKED!" Elena freaked out.

"I"m gonna go" Caroline threw into the akward conversation and made way for the door again.

"Damon! what the hell is going on?" Elena asked, infuriated.

"You really don't remember last night? wow you really were hammered" Damon laughed.

Elena threw the empty glass that was on the nightstand towards Damon's head "And you took advantage of that so you could sleep with me?" She screamed.

"HEY! Watch it!" Damon warned ducking away from the glass. "First of all! I would never ever do that to you! You are only in MY bed, because i thought it would be too painfull for you to be in Stefan's bed"

"Then why am I naked?" Elena asked him.

"You are not, you're just wearing my shirt because you puked all over yours!" Damon Explained.

"Oh..." Was all Elena could bring herself to say.

"And last but not least, if I DID sleep with you, trust me sweetheart, you wouldn't forget!" Damon said with a cocky grin.

"Don't push your luck or i'll throw more stuff at you" Elena moaned pulling the sheet back over her head. The light from outside hurt her eyes.

Damon laughed. "Wow you are so moody when you're hung over" He laughed. He walked over to the bed and crouched next to it, he pulled the sheet back from her head and tousled her hair. "Hey, you feeling ok?" he asked her.

"My head is exploding" Elena moaned. She looked at Damon's worried face. He really was ridiculusly hot. Especially now wearing nothing but a plain dark blue towel. She felt her body respond.

"I'll whip you up something against the hangover in a second let me get dressed first' Damon said walking back into the bathroom.

Elena pulled the sheet over her head again. She turned around to push her face in the pillow making sure as little light as possibly could touched her face. The pillow smelled amazing. It was the pure essence of Damon, not some expensive cologne , just Damon. Elena noticed how it made a smile appear on her face and breathed in deeply. She had missed her friend. For a moment she took the time to dream off. Everything seemed so unimportant right now, and staying here , in what probably was the safest place in the world , was now for just a second her greatest desire. She thought about all the other girls that had probably been in this bed and figured she wasn't alone in this feeling. Then it hit her. Caroline!

"Shit" Elena muttered reaching out for her cell phone. It was nowhere to be found. She must have left it downstairs. With resentment. Elena got out of the warm bed and made her way downstairs. The living room was tidier then they had left it. One of the few things she could remember. Her purse was still next to the couch though. She reached out for it and grabbed her phone that was inside. Trying to see through her blurry hung over eyes she hit the Caroline button in her name list .

"Elena? I'm so sorry!" Caroline shouted in the phone as a greeting.

"Caroline don't shout I'm hung over…." Elena moaned.

"I swear I didn't know it was you!" Caroline went on.

"Caroline! It's ok…It's not what you think." Elena explained.

"No, no Elena it's fine it's none of my business" Caroline kept rambling.

"I didn't sleep with him Caroline, we got drunk It was too late for me to drive and I puked" Elena said through the rambling.

It was quiet for a moment.

"Oh" Caroline whispered with what sounded like a hint of disappointment.

"Caroline?" Elena asked her phone.

"Right! Of course! Hey listen are you coming to the party at the grill tomorrow?" Caroline quickly changed the subject.

"I don't know Care…." Elena whispered. She hadn't gone out since the incident. She just didn't feel like it.

"Oh come on! Everybody misses you" Caroline whined.

"I'll think about it" Elena finally gave in.

"Great!" Caroline said in her bubbly self voice. "Bring Damon!" Caroline said and she hung up the phone.

Elena stared at her phone….Damon…she remembered.

Damon came out of the bedroom to find it empty. Did she leave? Her clothes were still in the laundry though. He stood still trying to pick up the sound of something. Her heartbeat… her breath….her voice….something. He found her in the living room and decided to go downstairs.

He found her watching the fire, still in his black shirt. She took his breath away. Wearing nothing but the shirt and some underwear she looked more attractive and yet more breakable the ever. If he could just hold her, promise the pain would end he could….Damon quickly pushed to thought away.

Still hung over?" Damon asked her moving towards the fire.

Elena nodded. She was quiet.

Whats wrong?" Damon asked sensing the mood.

"Nothing…" Elena whispered.

Damon sat himself in the couch and Elena took the seat next to him. He pulled her legs over his lap and places his hands on them, gently and softly caressing her shins. "Talk to me" He whispered.

"It's just this place I guess, the memories" Elena said rather coldly, she really wanted to avoid the subject.

"You need to leave all this for a bit" Damon replied. "Forget all the drama for a day, we could go to Atlanta again " He smiled.

"Don't think Jenna would like that very much" Elena laughed sadly. "But there's a Christmas party in the grill, I'll go if you go" Elena tried carefully.

"I don't know" Damon doubted. "Most of the people there really don't like me"

"And since when do you care about that?" Elena remarked.

"Good point, fine….it's a date!" Damon said.

"No it's not" Elena suddenly said caught off guard.

Elena brushed the last strains of her hair and finished putting the last hint of pink gloss on her lips. For her first time out in months, she looked pretty amazing she thought to herself. Damon was picking her up in twenty minutes, and this whole arrangement still felt like a date to her. She was wearing a purple sweaterdress with a turtle neck to keep warm in the snow, it fitted thightly around her body and curves, with a black belt to accesorise. The dress fell till just above her knee's and under it she wore black thights and black high heeled boots to finish it off.

"So you're really going out with Damon?" A voice whispered from her door.

"It's not a date jer" Elena said.

"you're dressing up like it's a date' Jeremy noticed.

"Were just trying to be friends again" Elena sighed.

"Look it"s ok if you're into him, just don't lie to yourself about it' Jeremy said.

"I'm NOT into him, i'm not katherine, it wouldn't be fair to Stefan" Elena replied annoyed.

"Elena...stefan is dead..." Jeremy said easily.

Elena dropped her brush, and closed her eyes for a moment "Thank you for reminding me" She whispered.

"I"m sorry sis, I just want you to be careful" Jeremy explained.

"I know, I will be...like i said...Damon and I are just friends" Elena forgave him.

"If that's what you say I believe you, and, you look great" Jeremy made up.

Elena hugged her little brother lightly so she wouldn't wrinkle her dress too much. "You sure you don't want to come, could be fun"

"Nah, I think i'll just hang out here for a while, have fun though' Jeremy said.

The bell rang.

"That must be Damon" Elena whispered. She caught herself looking in the mirror again to make sure she looked her best. Why would she do that, it was just Damon.

Jeremy opened the door. "She'll be down in a minute'' He said coldly.

"Thanks" Damon said staring around in the hallway.

"Hey, I know you can kick my ass in a second" Jeremy said holding Damon by his arm "But if you hurt or take advantage of my sister I'll stake your sorry ass...got it!"

Damon laughed "you used to like me! what's up with the treath's"

"I"m being serious asswhole.." Jeremy raised his voice.

"I know, warning noted, i'l take good care of her ok" Damon said

"Good" Jeremy anwsered taking off.

There was movement up the stairs, Damon looked up. There was a princess gliding down it's wooden steps. Covered in a classy yet revealing purple dress, like a winter goddess. Damon swallowed. Her hair was in a sideways ponytail draped around her neck and shoulders almost till her chest area, wich was covered yet showing. She really did have the perfect figure.

"Hey! Eyes more up!" Jeremy waked Damon up from his stare.

"right sorry..."Damon walked over to Elena and offered her his arm "Mylady" He smiled.

Elena's heart made a jump. It was impossible not to blush when Damon was in his gentlemen mood. "Let's go you idiot" Elena said deliberatly ignoring the arm she went straight for her keys.

"Taking off! won't be out late!" She shouted to jenna who was in the kitchen.

"Ok have fun!" Jenna shouted back.

Elena opened the door and headed for the car.

"oh no way! I'm driving" Damon said speeding to the car.

"It's my car" Elena protested!

"Yeah, and I'M driving it, or were taking mine..." Damon replied.

"Fine, you drive" Elena threw him the keys.

Damon catched them with the grace of a gazelle and rushed to open the door for Elena.

"Stop that damon, this aint a date" Elena said annoyed.

Damon closed the door to the car once she got in and sat in the drivers seat. They didn't speak untill they arrived at the grill.

The music was playing loudly at the grill. It was decorated to the extreme with lights and fake snow.

"ELENA! you came!" Caroline screamed. She hugged Elena tightly.

"yeah.."Elena smiled.

It only took a moment before people started to crowd around her. Damon made his way for the bar.

"Bourbon please" He said to the bartender. He glanced at Elena who was still surrounded by friends. Nipping his drink. She looked at him and smiled.

After a while Elena got away from the people surrounding her and made her way to Damon.

"Drinking again" She sighed.

"Yeah" Damon replied.

"Can I have a sip" Elena asked.

"No..." Damon turned towards Elena.

The music started playing a softer song. A tune soft and beautiful.

"Dance with me" Damon smiled to Elena.

"Damon this is not a date" Elena said once again.

"I know that , i'm asking you as your friend..." Damon guided her hand towards her.

"Fine" elena said taking his hand.

They made their way to the newly created dancefloor.

_I've hardly been outside my room in days _

_Cause I don't feel that i deserve the sunshine's rays_

_The darkness helped until the wiskey wore away_

_and it was then i realised the concience never fades_

Elena closed her eyes and let Damon sway her trough the music. She felt as if she were floating. Like a princess in a disneymovie. It was just the way she had felt during the dance of the miss mystic falls pageant. She had felt butterflies through her body that day, and now she could not deny the knot in her chest either. Why did she feel like this, obviously it was just a sexual attraction she felt. right?

_But I will fight for you,_

_Be sure that I will fight _

_Untill were the special two once again_

_And we would only need eachother, we'll bleed together,_

_Our hands would not be taught to hold another's,_

'_cause were the special two _

_And we could only see eachother, we'll breath together,_

_These arms would not be taught to hold another's_

_cause were the special two._

Damon held Elena as close as he possibly could. For the moment she let her guard down he planned to get the most out of it. The song was fitting. Life never felt so perfect before. And if he could convince her, he would never hurt her again. Slowly Damon moved in closer and kissed Elena's forehead. "I"m glad i'm in your life again" he whispered.

Elena pushed Damon away from her.

"Damn it Damon why wouldn't you let it be!" Elena said in a stern voice.

"What are you talking about" Damon asked confused.

"Why do you have to do it? The flirting...being charming! How many times do I have to explain to you this is not a date!" Elena nearly shouted.

People started to look at them and Damon guided Elena to the corner where they had at least the illusion of more privacy.

"Why are you being so on edge" Damon asked Elena.

"I"m NOT katherine, i'm not gonna switch from one brother to another" Elena said.

"I know that I"m not pushing you into anything you're being ridiculus" Damon told her.

"No i'm not! I've had to tell you like 5 times tonight to stop acting like were on a date!" Elena said.

"Yes, You've been telling me so many times I wonder if it's not yourself you're trying to convince! We've always had something you and me...you can't deny that, I won't let you anymore!" Damon sternly said.

"So now that Stefan isn't around anymore you decided to make you're move! you think i'm that pathetic?" Elena shouted. She had gotten used to replacing the word died with not around anymore. For her it was pretty much the same, but for the people who didn't know it still sounded like he had just left her.

"Elena it's not like that, why are you being so defensive, who are you trying to convince? me or yourself?" Damon said.

"You! And frankly I regret letting you back into my life when you're acting like this" Elena said and she stalked off.

_I remember someone old once said to me,_

_That "lies will lock you up with truth the only key."_

_But I was comfortable and warm inside my shell,_

_And couldn't see this place could soon become my hell._

_So is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face?_

_Well I guess the answer is, don't do it in the first place._

_I know I'm not deserving of your trust from you right now,_

_But if by chance you change your mind, you know I will not let you down, _

_'Cause we were the special two, and we'll be again._

Damon sat at the bar . Women...why did they always drive him drinking? Elena had taken the car and driven home. She wasn't in the mood for a party anymore she had told Caroline and Bonnie. Bonnie had thrown him some hating look and Caroline had tried to talk to him hoping to redeem between him and Elena. But it was in vain.

After his third bourbon there was still no drunken mist in starting to set in his head. He had been drinking too much and had started to get imune to the liquor. He took off , maybe walking would help him clear his thoughts. He stepped out into the snow, no specific goal, he'd see where he'd end up once he got there.

_I step outside my mind's eyes for a minute._

_And I look over me like a doctor looking for disease,_

_Or something that could ease the pain._

_But nothing cures the hurt you, you bring on by yourself,_

_Just remembering, just remembering how we were..._

_D_amon didn't mean to end up here. He just did. He only realised he was standing outside Elena's house once he recognised the steps that lead to the porch. He stared at her window. The light was on, and she was sitting next to the window writing in her diary. The soft rays of the moonlight made her face a bit more pale, like an angel stuck on earth. He caught her eyes when she looked out. She probably felt him staring. She closed the curtains and the lights went out. She was still mad obviously.

He looked at the window a little longer and then turned around. Making his way back to the sidewalk. It was only then he heard the front door open and felt the artificial light on his back.

"Damon" the gentle voice softly called out to him.

"Hey, sorry, I'm not stalking you I promise" Damon said trying to crack a joke to make light of the awkward situation.

"I know, I'm sorry I freaked out on you, that wasn't fair" Elena whispered.

Damon walked back to the porch. He needed to be closer to her.

"It's ok, I didn't mean to upset you" He said emotionless. He didn't feel comfortable in this heart spilling moments. Like it was against his nature, or so it felt.

"I know, and you're right...There is something between is, but I'm not ready for it now, and I don't know if i'll ever be. I hope you understand that. I'm sorry" Elena confessed.

There was an awkward silence again a tension in the air.

Damon took a deep breath and moved in closer. In a swift mood he held Elena in his arms and softly pressed his lips against hers. Her lips were soft and sweet. His hand softly caressed the side of cheek. It was the perfect kiss. Soft, yet with tension and passion.

Elena felt Damon's lips on her. Though her mind told her to stop this, her body only responded asking for more. It felt so right the way his lips combined with her. His tongue softly caressing her lips. His breath was warm and sweet. She never had a kiss like this. So sweet yet so needy and wanted. It was like opening a christmas present , waiting to see what it was for so long and then finally you carefully but urgently open it because you simply cant wait for it anymore.

_when we would only need each otherwe'd bleed together_

_these hands would not be taught to hold another's,_

_We were the special two._

_And we could only see each other we'd bleed together,_

_These arms would not be taught to need another's,_

_'Cause we're the special two._

And then finally she found the strength to break the kiss. And Elena gasped a little for air. Her head was dizzy.

"Damon what-" She wanted to ask.

But Damon placed his index finger on her lips and pointed above them. There on taped on the porch light was a single small green mistletoe.

"Merry Christmas Elena" Damon Whispered.

Hey guys! I promised you a Christmas Special here it is! I hope you all really enjoyed it! I know i did writing it!

I hope you all have a great Christmas and a dazzling new year. My resolution is ...I don't know yet...but it'll be awsome...

This Chapter is based on The Special two by missy Higgins and i worked in the lyrics this time cause i thought it was important to do so! Be sure to check out her work , it's beautiful!

I want to give a very very VERY special shout out to Aurora & Jolien : You guys are the best friends a girl could ask and thank you for letting me borrow your song... I know it means alot to you and I did my best to make it stand out as best as I could

To my Beta-reader : TwilightObsessed-YESTWILIGHT I saw a big Edward Cardboard the other day and thought of you , but how would that cross the sea ?

And last to my bestest friend (and my special person) Danni, never leave on holliday again...I miss you more then I thought was possible.

Love,

Em.


End file.
